Score: NU 13 – Michigan 44Game Summary: I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those games where we just completely fold up our tents and show how unreasonable (and unfortunate) our expectations were at the beginning of the year.
In short, I see our offense stalling (per usual) and our defense showing a complete inability to stop the run – particularly from Gardner running around like a moron wearing #98 in the pocket. What quarterback wears a number that close to 100? That’s absurd. He should be benched for thinking that’s acceptable.
The game won’t ever be close. Michigan will score on their first 2 possessions and they’ll be off to the races.
Warrior to Watch (the Player to Watch segment ended when we started sucking): Andy Day. Word on the street is that DJ Styl3z is up to his old ways with a helluva a playlist for this weekend’s game. Apparently, he has been in a festive mood…. and it’s not even December yet.
Play of the Game: The forecast is unpleasant. This suggests that we (The Warriors, not the Cats) will have a helluva time setting up the satellite dish. Yours truly, the resident satellite expert, will come up in the clutch just before kickoff and get the dish working so that everyone can be saved from 3 and a half more hours of Christmas music.
Score: NU 23 – Michigan 21
Game Summary: Well it really can’t get any worse than the last few weeks, amirite? I literally don’t think there’s any possible way to lose in a more heartbreaking fashion than we did against Nebraska. We’ve hit rock bottom, which is actually a good feeling, since now there’s no stress during these games. What do we have to lose? We’re not fighting for anything other than a bowl at this point, and even that’s a long shot. We’re playing in some ridiculously over-the-top patriotic unis, which look like the result of a threesome between a bald eagle, Condoleeza Rice and Ronald Reagan’s decaying corpse. America, Fuck Yea!
Let’s get to the game. Michigan’s offense has put up points this year, but in these last few weeks they’ve slowed considerably. This is not a very good team. But hey, neither are we. I think our defense steps up and causes a few turnovers to keep us in the game with that “bend but don’t break” mentality. The one consistent theme for our team this year has been interceptions, and I’d expect a few in this contest.
I think our team has been jonesing to play this game ever since the Fail Mary last year in Ann Arbor. We need to stick with the run to have a chance, and I think Kain Colter will keep us in it. Man, I’m gonna miss that guy. He leads a late drive into Michigan territory to set us up for a late FG. Jeff Budzien hits it and the ‘Cats win, 23-21.
Player of the Game: Treyvon Green
Warrior(s) to Watch: Pat “Shades of” Grayhack – I’ll be rubbing his fiery red locks for luck, and in order to stay warm.
Play of the Game: Treyvon busts a big one for a TD
Northwestern 73 – Michigan 0
Quite frankly, we win this because we’re America and their quarterback is wearing a d lineman’s number. Muck fichigan.
Player to watch – Matt Alviti – The chosen one will be on the sideline sending all sorts of signals.
Tailgater to watch – Bogdan “Gipsy Fingers” Ivan – Watch him or he’ll steal your woman.
Score – NU 24 – Michigan 23
Game Summary: Each team will give this game away a few times. Fumbler here. INT there. Poor playcalling EVERYWHERE. Devin Gardner will DERP his way to a few first downs and maybe even a TD. Northwestern’s playcalling will continue to be conservative, and they’ll punt from inside the 40 precisely thrice. Michigan will be down 7 on the final drive and score with time expired. I’m calling a missed XP or DERP’d two-point conversion. The ‘MERICA uniforms will be undefeated.
Player to Watch: Venric Mark. He’ll look so good on the sidelines resting for next year
Play of the Game: Missed XP/DERP’s two-point conversion
…of the GIF Predictions.
The weather on Saturday:
Michigan’s first drive:
The warriors after the ‘Cats first drive:
Devin Gardner’s 3rd pass of the following drive:
My response to Mick’s play calling the rest of the half:
My thoughts on Fitz’s conservative play calling going into halftime:
Halftime (likely Rog accepts):
The first drive of the second half for the ‘Cats:
Our second drive:
Our 3rd drive:
Our 4th drive:
Kain on the next drive:
We somehow won the game… this is my mind:
Score: NU 21 – Michigan 14 (See highlights here)
Game Highlight: Our game winning drive
Player to Watch: Kyle Prater, cause why not.