As you may have already heard, the fifth case of Ebola has been diagnosed in the US, this time in New York City. Our fellow Warrior, Roger will be traveling to this very city this weekend (as good ‘Cats fans only plan vacations during bye weeks) and could be putting the Warrior population at large at risk of contracting this deadly virus.
We are alerting you to this fact so that we can be as upfront about this matter, and also to ensure you that Roger Rankin and the West Lot Warriors will be taking every possible precaution to ensure no members are not at risk. First and foremost, Roger will be constantly monitoring his condition upon his return to Chicago by checking his temperature twice daily and inspecting his stool. He will also ensure that Trent, our fellow Warrior, does not accidentally drink out of his morning glass of orange juice.
Game day precautions will also be in order. Roger will be wearing a bright yellow vest to remind everyone to maintain a safe distance.
Beyond that, Roger will have his own case of Milwaukee’s Best Light, because no one in their right mind would drink that, unless that was their only option (which it will be for Uncle Roger). Please avoid any cans that look like the one below:
Roger will also not be enjoying his favorite spirit, Fireball. As this is the most popular liquor consumed at our tailgates, we do not want their to be any chance of others drinking from the same bottle as Roger. He will be limited to drinking Jim Beam’s knock-off of Fireball, Jim Beam Fire. Again, please do not drink this, as it may be contaminated.
As always, we will also have our resident doctor, Dr. Roche, on hand as well. We hope you feel comfort by the steps and precautions the West Lot Warriors are taking to protect our population at large. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to email firstname.lastname@example.org or comment below. Go ‘Cats!